My heart!

I attended a conference this week and was reminded of my heart’s passion, my call to encourage others who have and are walking the difficult storm of the death of a child. I said to my sister friend as my heart took a peek at those first moments and days after Reggie died. I said to her in some ways it would have been easier to go crazy. She looked at me with a strange look of what? Then I responded yes, for what had happened and the weight of it all on me and my heart, crazy would have been a way to escape the reality I was in. Because maybe in crazy, I would not have to do the difficult work of grief, …to bring my broken heart to repair. The reality was that I could not do it myself. I did not even think it was possible. Jesus, in the days and years to come would mend it, kind of like art of Kintsugi… the Chinese process that mends shattered pieces using lacquer mixed with gold to put the pieces back together. The result is a finished product stronger and more valuable than the original. I looked to Jesus, knowing he was the only way it could be done. Jesus mended my broken heart infusing his comfort, love and care, and turned it into a new heart. Just like the pieces that are mended back together with the gold mixture in Kintsugi, the history of what broke my heart remains, but my heart is much stronger and valuable than the original. Yes, I have learned that joy is on the other side. My heart is filled with the love and memory of Reginal but stronger because of the love of a Savior who can do anything but fail!