Hope

April 20, 2021 … 27 years this December. I pray that if this is your first day to these thoughts, that you will go back to the beginning, and that in doing that you will find comfort in the sharing that I have done up till now. I was prompted to reach out to one of the mothers that is also a friend that is new to this journey. It was just a quick text. A human effort to let her know that she is thought about, cared about and prayed for. In grief, on one level we may know this but, I remember the days after the lying to rest, after the funeral, when there are fewer distractions…in a way but more of the reality of what has to be done…what I wanted to do… Today, I thought, as I looked back on my grief and God’s word when it says that as Christians, we grieve with hope, I had something I wanted to share. In the early days, the dark times, it was the hope that kept me sane. Hope is one of those things that is hard to define but when you can live in it the benefits are more that we can do for ourselves. It is centered on expectation. The hope in Christ..birth, death and resurrection and the gift we are given when we believe! We recently celebrated his death and resurrection. If we were to look in scripture, we would be able to chronical the 40 days after, the actions of our Savior, manifestation of the Holy Spirit to us. So what does this have to do with where I was or where you may be now? Fulfillment of God’s word to us. Hope for this not being final… the fact that it is hard, painful, takes time yes but not final. I do know that it was the hope, the believe that this is not and was not the final say for my son. Yes in a way his life ended here in my reality but not in what is and what will come. God in his love for me had allowed me to have a conversation with my son before his death that confirmed what he had been taught as true when it come to Jesus. Everything in me did not want him to leave this earth and was in a deep pain yearning for his presence but, Hope! In his book Paul Enns” Heaven Revealed” gives a clear scriptural picture of heaven. I did not have that then, but I did have and had to hold on to the fact that I would see my son again…because of the hope that we are given. There were days that I had to literally picture him with Christ…there were days when I had to picture myself in the arms of Christ. Those days when I did not want to go forward, to do anything, numb yet in pain. It was hope that kept me. It was the expectation and determination that I would live and not be defeated. I had to purpose it, intentionally focus on the word of God. The word did what it does.

Maybe you are reading this today and you are in that ball of grief. You grief is normal and natural. Without love there is no grief. It was said by one of the mentors “It is the price we pay for loving someone.” As you go through, I pray that you will remember hope. Expectation that it will not “feel this way forever”, “one day I will have joy in my life, “one day I will see him/her again”…. Remember that we have been given a gift and in that gift this life does not have the final say. An old rugged cross, and a willing son gave us so much, and if you can intentionally hold on to that thought, hope is there…and in time you can expect Joy to show up because it is on the other side. “But if we hope for that we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently”. Romans 8:25…hold on it will come!